Setting Grief Resolutions in the New Year

Working through your grief is not something that can be done in a short amount of time. Processing loss takes time and growth. This article will discuss ways to look towards the New Year and set goals for yourself to help you work through your grief.

Setting the Right Kind of Goals

Setting goals and resolutions can be a good way to start your year right, but it is important to set yourself up for success. Vague, undefined goals can be hard to fulfill. By defining your goals and setting realistic expectations, you will be more likely to attain them. 

Writing Positive Goals

When setting goals, focus on positive statements. Words like “don’t” or “no” present negatively. This can make it harder to stick to your goals. Stay focused on what needs to get done rather than what needs to stop.

Define a Time Frame

Identify a realistic time frame for you to achieve these goals. This could mean setting a date to reach a certain goal or identifying something you want to achieve week by week or month by month. Remember that it takes time to condition yourself towards a new goal. Create a list of daily and/or weekly activities. 

Tips on Achieving Goals

These tips can help you work to achieve your goals and work towards improving yourself.

Identify Your Weaknesses

We all have things that cause us to stray from our goals. Identifying vices and weaknesses can help us reduce their effectiveness. If you have habits that make it harder to achieve your goals, working to undo those bad habits can be important in working towards a better you.

Support From Others

If you think you’ll need support from friends or family, talk with them as your set your goals. They may be able to help you set more realistic goals and work with you to achieve them. This can include having someone to work out with, or just someone to vent to when your grief feels overwhelming. Don’t forget that it’s OK to ask for help. 

Rewards for Reaching Goals

Setting rewards makes reaching your goals more satisfying and helps drive you forward. Just make sure that your rewards aren’t counterproductive. For example, don’t set rewards for unhealthy meals if you lose a certain amount of weight. A reward might be treating yourself to a relaxing day, or buying something nice for yourself. 

Grief and Uncertainty in Goal-Setting

Grief can make it harder for you to work towards your goals. Ultimately, taking steps towards improving yourself is what you are looking to achieve. While grief can make this feel harder, you should still try to work through it.

Grief and Failure

Grief can affect how we view our failures. But it is still important to look towards what we have achieved rather than what we didn’t. For example, if your goal was to save $4,000 in 3 months, and you only managed to save $1,000 you should still be proud of yourself. You made an effort, and you shouldn’t focus on what you didn’t reach. Rather, look at what you achieved and seek to do better from there. 

Feeling Happier

“Be happier” is a goal that many grieving people set for themselves when the new year approaches. Unfortunately, this isn’t always something that can be easily quantifiable or achieved. The best way to feel happier is to take steps to improve yourself in ways that you can be proud of. Grief is a personal journey that we all experience differently. Creating a path out of your sorrow is something that you must forge yourself. 

The author of this post is not a professional therapist or counselor. For assistance in finding a grief counselor that is right for you, there are a number of resources out there. For our Grief Resource Center, written by Dr. Bill Webster, click here. 
For over 50 years, Matthew Funeral Home has been serving the Staten Island community. We can help with almost every aspect of your loved one’s memorial service. Our family is here to serve yours, every step of the way.